Caitlin's Real Journey to Health

A lot harder than it sounds


Again, life decided to throw a wrench in my plans. My boyfriend’s dad passed away suddenly last week. So I spent the latter half of last week with his family helping out with getting things together and ready for the service and just helping out with the little things I could do to make things easier for his mom.

So needless to say, I missed a few Zumba classes and workouts. I’m not complaining about it. Being there to support your family will always trump going to the gym. I just never truly realized how much food people send you. The closest family member to be that had passed away previously was my grandpa. He passed right in the middle of my finals so I was really only able to come back quickly for the funeral. So this was my first experience with all of the food and people stopping by. We really had way more food than we knew what to do with. And of course, a lot of what people bring is comfort food. Or at least not-good-for-you-in-the-least food. We had at least 8 buckets of KFC, 3 meat trays, and several pizzas, all in the course of a couple days. Plus people brought tons of cookies and chips too. No one ever really got super hungry or got hungry at the same time. I think it just became more of eating just because it was there and it was something you could do to occupy your mind for a few minutes. So we ate at weird times. Although I never ate a lot in one sitting so it was a lot like having numerous small meals throughout the day. I just could tell I was eating greasy and not good for me food.

But now that we’re home and everything, I have been lacking motivation big time. I slept terribly last week between the super late nights and not being able to sleep. And coupled with sleeping on the couch and the floor, you can see where I would be tired. So I’ve wanted to crash every night but I’m trying to get everything caught up. I didn’t get to do laundry so I had an extra load to do. We had some raw chicken in the fridge that went bad and was stinking up the whole place so we had to clean that up and air the place out. The list goes on and on. So I haven’t been able to go to bed much earlier than my normal time but I’ve still been having trouble falling asleep. So I sleep through my alarms in the morning and then I don’t have the time to go to the gym during the day. So it’s a cycle. I’m hoping this weekend I can get more caught up on sleep and finish up with everything else I need to catch up on so my pattern can get back to normal. I am a little worried though. I’ve battled insomnia for several years and it does not take much for me to get off my patterns and when it gets back, it gets really bad. And with commuting now I really can’t afford to have it flare up.

I’m hoping that things can get a little more on track next week and that I can get back to my workout schedule and get some good stuff for me to eat. *fingers crossed*


April 27, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | Leave a comment


I decided something over the weekend. I am going to run a 5K. And I’m definitely going to run it. It’s called the Color Me Rad 5K. It just looks like a blast. And I think making running fun is the key to making it something that people want to do.

It’s not until August so I have plenty of time to get myself up to it. I know it’s only just over 3 miles but I’ve never run 3 miles consistently in my life. I’ve walked/hiked way more at a time, but never run. We would always just get timed for 1 mile in school and other than warming up for cheerleading practice, I pretty much preferred to do a sprint.

So I need to set some goals for myself. I looked at this program called Couch to 5K. I’m probably gonna try it but I feel like I could already skip the first couple weeks of it because I can already run 3-5 minutes no problem so if I start it from day 1, I’ll end up being bored.

But as I’ve alluded to before, I hate goals. They’re on the same vein as New Year’s Resolutions for me. I feel like I’m setting myself up for failure. My life is so hectic that every time I try to put long term goals in place for myself, I end up not being able to achieve them and I feel terrible and look at myself like I failed in some way.

So I got to thinking about something. I’ve tried long term goals but I’ve never really tried short term goals for myself. And by short I’m thinking week long goals at a maximum. If I can set a goal at the start of the day, something really simple and easy to fit into my day (even as simple as run for 5 minutes), then I can have a sense of satisfaction at meeting my goals and it will make it easier for me to achieve things. As I hopefully start feeling better at making goals, I can start making more concrete long-term goals for myself.

April 16, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

My BMI Rant

One thing that I’ve developed a deep hatred for over the years, especially recently with all the media focus on obesity in our country is the Body Mass Index (BMI). If you’re really interested in the background of it, you can go to the Wikipedia page ( which has some good basic info and some links. But I honestly think most of us know what it is.

Here’s my big problem with it: they’re basing your “thickness” or “thinness” solely on your height and weight. And that is just complete and total bull. What body type is this based on? I have curves. I definitely inherited the European genes from my family. I have a friend that it a stick. And she can put down some food. So already I have a disadvantage against her due solely to our different body shapes and the added density that comes from a curvier figure. So immediately there is a flaw in the system.

Also (and along the same line as the body shape), I have a chest. There’s no factor to account for the weight that I have there. I mean, I can’t really do anything about them or the fact that they are essentially a fat and tissue deposit. They’re there and not going anywhere. So how do you balance that against a guy who doesn’t have them. Or a girl with smaller ones?

Another issue: what about people with lots of muscle? It’s a given fact that muscle weighs more than fat so if you do work out a lot or are just athletic, you gonna have a higher BMI than someone with the same body type who doesn’t have the muscle definition. I have another friend whose sister is crazy athletic. She plays a lot of different sports and has a 6-pack. She is constantly going. By the BMI’s standards: she’s obese.How is someone that is fit enough to have a 6 pack obese?

But of course, the media has to latch on and sensationalize everything to make a good story. And studies use it all the time. I mean, I understand the goal is to make people try to be healthier, but telling me I’m obese only makes me depressed because I do try. I can’t help my body shape. I had no control over my genetics so I almost feel like I’m being punished in some way for having curves. And I love my curves so I don’t want to feel that way. I just feel like there needs to be a better indicator that can take into account more variables because our bodies are all so different and height and weight alone can’t say for sure if you’re overweight or not.

And I realize that you can get a complete body “work up” that can determine your % body fat and all of that information. And that is definitely the better indicator in my mind. But the problem is you have to have it done by a specialist and it costs a pretty penny. And that isn’t exactly something that insurance companies are going to be okay with paying for.

So it ends up being a slippery slope. Go by the BMI and feel depressed and discouraged by your weight or spend a fortune to get the true analysis of your body. Or try and ignore everything that the media throws out there, which is increasingly difficult to do…….

April 11, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

Holiday Dinners and Breakthroughs

So I have sucked with updating this. To be honest, it’s hard to find the motivation to knowing that no one is reading it anyway. Aside from that it’s been a crazy last couple months. To sum it up and make a long story short: crazy and ridiculously hard class, the death cold that wouldn’t go away, and a family member in the hospital. So yeah, crazy. Plus spring decided to arrive a touch early and the weather has been pretty wonderful as of late so I’ve been spending a lot of time outside. I mean, wouldn’t you rather be outside when it’s wonderful out than cooped up?

And yesterday was Easter (look at me stating the obvious). You know what that means: holiday dinner again. I think for most people it isn’t as big a deal as Thanksgiving or Christmas but it’s a holiday dinner all the same. In my family, it’s just as big. My grandma could probably feed a small third world country with all the food she makes. And don’t even get me started on how many times we’ve told her that she makes way too much food. We honestly have leftovers for weeks. Yet, she still makes all this food. And she definitely encourages you to keep eating. You know that person that takes it as an insult if you aren’t completely stuffed or go back for seconds and thirds? Yeah, that’s my grandma. So I always end up eating WAY too much and then I feel uncomfortable for the rest of the day. Now shock of shocks, we didn’t have that much food this time around. I was amazed. We had the ham, of course, and a potato side (baked hashbowns mixed w/ sour cream and some seasonings – YUM!), two vegetables, deviled eggs, cottage cheese, and rolls. Oh, and desert. All in all, a very small holiday dinner. I still got full but I didn’t feel horribly uncomfortable. It was kind of amazing. I still got some leftovers, but just enough for a couple of days, which is nice.

I had what I deemed a small breakthrough the other day. Knowing I was gonna get some leftover ham, I didn’t see the point in going to the store and wasting money on lunch meat, so I had to go get some lunch. The dining center I like to go to on campus was absolutely packed so my friend and I decided to go uptown. We just ended up going to Wendy’s and I just got a burger since it would be quick and I wasn’t feeling a salad there (they’re so watered down it isn’t even funny – at least every time I’ve had one at this particular Wendy’s). Well I started eating my burger and I was honestly grossed out by the grease. I just felt disgusting eating it. And that was almost a good feeling for me. Granted I didn’t like being grossed out by my food, but I have never just had that strong desire to NOT eat fast food. So hopefully I can keep it up. I do still love the fries though, which will make it a little more difficult.

I’ll do a weigh-in later in the week. I can guarantee it won’t be too different but that’s a post for next time I suppose.

April 9, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment